Dear Insulin Pump

Dear Insulin Pump,

First off, please know this is not goodbye, only see you later. You and I have had a great relationship. We’ve been together for ten years! You are insanely smart and have always done a great job taking care of me. I remember the first day we met, my life changed for the better. Ten years is a long time. It’s nothing I regret and I will give you glowing reviews to my friends; but, I need a change.

You see…you’re “clingy.” You do not embarrass me but you are ALWAYS there. When we get tangled up you can really be a pain. I’m sick of sharing the bed with you. You get in the way and it can be uncomfortable to sleep. Sometimes you whine in the middle of the night for no reason. No matter how much attention I give you, you just won’t shut up. And to be completely honest, you’re not always right. You can really weigh me down. There are many days that there’s just not enough room for you. You’ve never been supportive of fitted dresses, swimsuits, or pants without pockets. You never let me swim for more than 20 minutes at a time, and this is a problem because it’s been a HOT summer so far. I’m headed to Cancun soon and I think it would just be better that you don’t come.

Now that I’ve put that out there, it will not all be rainbows and butterflies without you. My new relationship is going to require some work…and some math. However, I don’t mind math, and I need to keep my options open right now. You’ve always been supportive of my workouts and cater very well to my needs. I don’t know how this will all work in my new relationship but I want to try. The beautiful thing about this break up is I know you’ll still be there when I need you. I promise to tuck you away in a safe spot and I know you’ll be ready for me when I return. This is not forever and most importantly remember, it’s not you… it’s me.

Farewell for now,

Samantha

PS – You kind of look like a pager.

… a final kiss goodbye. I’m excited to be going back on multiple daily injections and am working to get a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor to manage my diabetes without a pump. 🙂

My Husband’s Bromance

My husband is in a bromance. A multi-men bromance actually.

I chose this definition of bromance from Urban Dictionary to describe his relationships:

The intense complicated love shared between two heterosexual males that consists of but not limited to – wrestling, numerous man-dates, and tons of stories that will only remain between the two.

Also a form of male bonding to such a point where they start to seem like a couple.

This bond is normally only shared between two males that have a deeper understanding of each other, in a way no woman could ever realize.

  

In the first couple years of our relationship, I had a really hard time understanding their friendship. There’s a group of seven of them that call themselves the Wet Bandits. They speak a language that is hard to understand. Most of it stems from inside jokes that take time to pick up on. There’s lots of teasing that goes on and there seems to be fluctuations with who’s close to who at different times but at the end of the day it’s a seriously SERIOUSLY tight group of friends.

 

As a female attempting to enter this group, or at least trying to maintain a relationship with one of them, it’s extremely intimidating. (Imagine a cat trying to hang out with a group of dogs… no pun intended). I struggled for a while with trying to figure out my place in the group. Every time one of them would start to date a girl it was a huge relief as I looked forward to having someone to share my confusion with. The guys are nice, they just like to tease and it’s important to maintain thick skin when you’re around them. There haven’t been too many times that I’ve felt like things were said or done with malicious intent but it all can be tough to decipher.

If the teasing isn’t enough to put up with, there are the constant stories of their pastimes: when Luke wore a robe and slippers and brought a pillow to summer school, or when Chris saved a kid from drowning in a wave pool, and then there’s the story of Jimmy Hot Cock, and the countless memories from parties at the lake house. I think I’ve heard them all a hundred times but yet somehow their laughs are contagious and I too can’t help but smile when they tell them.

  

My husband and I have been together for four years now and there were many times I seriously questioned if I could deal with this group for the rest of my life but over time I’ve noticed their affection toward me. Like when Dan helped me get an interview for a job, Josh saved my life on a cruise, or when Chris confided in me with his relationship drama. I’m not sure if it’s because my husband has such a close bond with them or if I do genuinely like them, but I know they have worked their way into my heart. Maybe I just feel obligated to see them all succeed so they can find decent women and I don’t have to deal with them alone.

The whole thing continues to amaze me. A bond like that is hard for me to comprehend. Maybe it’s because I’m used to having friends come and go, maybe it’s because no matter where their lives have taken them they always end up together. I enjoy seeing them together because they enjoy it.

One thing I am sure of: When I said “I do” on October 18, 2014 I signed an eternal contract with my husband and his six bromances… and I’m OK with that.  🙂

Photos by JP Ball Photography

Special shout out to the bromance group from my graduating class at Waynesville High School! ❤ Miss you guys!

  

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Check it out:

Self Magazine: Why His ‘Bromance’ is Healthy for Him (and You!)

BuzzFeed: Top 20 Most Bromantic Celeb Bromances Of All Time

Interested in starting a Bromance?: How to Start a Bromance

This is Burlesque

As I walked into my Intermediate Burlesque class at Femme Fatale Fitness in Kettering, Ohio, I expected to do some sort of warm-up to get my heart rate going and learn a dance that used feathers and boas. It sounded fun. I figured we’d practice the dance over the next five weeks, and then the session would be over and I’d pick a new class to take. Boy was I wrong!

We sat down in a small circle and things started to unfold… the art of burlesque!

Learn more about burlesque here.

By the end of the hour, I’d found out that I’d be choreographing a dance, making a costume, performing solo in front of a crowd, oh – and ending up in pasties! (Cue car braking screech….) I’m sure there are many women who would have walked out at that point, and although there was a little voice in the back of my head saying, “what will people think,” I was too consumed in the idea of creating something—a performance—that was completely mine. Obviously I was going to do a lion theme… and OH THE SPARKLES! The ideas were pouring into my head.

This whole burlesque thing was very new to me. I am not into musicals or show tunes, and didn’t know much about the art of burlesque. As I did some research, I started to become more comfortable with the idea and my creative juices started flowing. I was very nervous to share the news with my husband, my very conservative husband. It was one of those conversations that I started with all the positives: costumes, creativity, all me, so fun, exciting, perform, yay, and then… with my head down to the side very quietly I said, “annnnd I’ll end up in pasties.” It turned into an emotional conversation, but the conclusion was: I’ll do the performance and we won’t talk about it… ever. Oh, and he would NOT be at the show (per his decision).

Joe was not the only one who was less than thrilled. I had a friend tell me I was a terrible person for putting my husband through this. That is was unfaithful… But, all I wanted to do was be covered in sparkles and perform. Nothing more, nothing less. I felt like I was born for this kind of thing, and at that time, there was nothing I wanted more.

I spent five weeks building my costume. With the support of the other women in my class, my mom and many of my friends, I managed to still gain excitement through the process even though not everyone was onboard. I glued and sewed pieces to my costume. I also learned how to pronounce Swarovski (swore off ski, like you swore off skiing – you’re welcome). After all was said and done – my costume was GORGEOUS!

The night of the big show all of the ladies in the class arrived at the bar and piled into a very tiny room. There was no privacy and that was fine. Part of our training was to change in a small room with six other girls. Butts and boobs all over the place. (Just making sure you’re still with me).

My excitement and anxiety was at a 9.5, sure to reach a 10 by the time I hit the stage. Let me explain the layers to my costume: nude thong, nude fishnet hose (makes your legs and ass look amazing), bedazzled and fringed thong –very very bedazzled, ball room shoes, pasties, the best bra you’ve ever seen, a corset, a tutu, and a head piece that would make a queen go gaga! As you may imagine, by the time you get all these layers on you feel FAR from naked. Layers that come off: tutu, corset and, bra. Leaving me with still a decent amount of “stuff” on.

That performance was probably one of the biggest rushes I’ve had in my adult life. I felt beautiful and I had a blast. I had a huge group of friends that came to support me, and guess who sat in the front row…my conservative husband. 🙂

Would I do it again? You know the phrase, “Quit while you’re ahead.” I came, I saw, I conquered… Time to move onto the next adventure.

What’s an Aerial Leo?

Aerial Adjective

1. existing or living or growing or operating in the air.

2. characterized by lightness and insubstantiality; as impalpable or intangible as air

Leo Noun

1. (astrology) a person who is born while the sun is in Leo

2. a zodiacal constellation in northern hemisphere between Cancer and Virgo

3. the fifth sign on the zodiac; the sun is in this sign from about July 23 to August 22

The words I’d use to describe myself. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Busy. Energized. Happy. Impatient. Curious. Positive. Vain. Competitive. Joyful. Friendly. Witty. Creative. Messy. Emotional. Fierce. Sedulous. Dreamer. Leo. 

I have always wanted to start a blog. In the last year, my life has changed in so many ways and it finally feels right to start sharing some stories. I’ve lost friends, gained new ones, got married, had surgery, traveled, and the most noteworthy change: I’ve gained a new appreciation for fitness. I’m a 27-year-old, type one diabetic (although that’s not how I identify myself), and I’m trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

So, join me on my attempt to entertain, educate, vent, and share my thoughts on life.